Slowly but surely

I know typically around this time I come up with a new pitch idea, I have one but its going to take a bit more time to fine tune. This one was more or less inspired by the ending of Dark Knight and I'd throw in some romance and betrayal, about how one man becomes hated by the world to protect the woman he loves who's out to kill him. Anyways that'll come in the future. So now we look at some more mindless ramblings. I guess you can say I'm getting to that age/phase in my life where I look at myself and ultimately decide what it'll be like in my future in terms of a relationship. I understand that it takes time and effort to cultivate something like that. I guess ultimately dating and what not eventually leads up to marriage. One of my friends actually got engaged recently. I heard about it during small group, let me tell you I was just as surprised as the others (who were all girls, I'm the only guy but its cool). I know the guy she's engaged to and I approve.

Once again it seems that this post is more or less inspired by this event. I mean its crazy, I mean when your a kid you think that marriage is a far off dream, if you're a girl especially it becomes a dream that you hope to attain (this view is a little biased due to the fact that I'm a guy and I learned about that in an anime). I guess from a guy's perspective its not so much as a dream but as a pretty big step as a man. Afterall its ultimately the guy who asks the big question (with lots of elaborate planning of course). I guess I wonder if I'll ever get to that point, even though I haven't even dated a girl before. No I'm not bitter or anything but I just wanted to explore this idea for a while as it mulls in my head and heart. Its like that question my old roommate posed to me before, that dating eventually leads to marriage even if it takes several tries. I guess if I were to judge myself based on that I'm just a naive idiot and I have no right to be writing this now. But its like I said before I don't want to screw around with a person's heart simply to gain "experience" towards an eventual marriage, but I do recognize the fact that its necessary to gain some kind of wisdom towards it. Its like my dai-ge told me he's been in several relationships some good and some bad but it made him the person I respect today.

So then what do I think seems to lay in the future for me? I guess it seems that this ninja may just embrace his destiny as a lonely yet strong hearted wanderer. Call it old age, but it seems that I may never understand the full complexity of a relationship. Even if I do it just maybe too late or I won't find my person just for me. Don't feel bad for me I have a sense of peace with it. I'm still wondering about my feelings for this girl in my heart but I don't know if I'll ever figure them out. Even if I don't I'm still happy. I've had my experiences with unrequited love, people say that it'll kill you. But I think those who have experienced it are the most noblest people in the world. That though their love will never be returned I think if the person they loved ever knew those feelings they'd be so happy. In the end though they never do and there will always be winners and losers in love. Even those with the purest of hearts. I'm not sad nor am I angry, heck maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'll look back years from now and laugh at myself with someone at my side. Its my choice both as a man and what seems to be in my heart now. I know I'll never have that Valaro and Alicia relationship, but I feel more like one of my other characters Asus Rapt. He could have chosen the woman that he fell in love with but he chose what he wanted in his heart. To create a legacy of honorable assassins who follow thier hearts even though they seem cold blooded. Thats how I feel now, that even if the future holds nothing slowly but surely what my heart wants and even God's plan for me is all that matters to me now.

So my blessings and congratulations of Josh and Jenna. This heart will forever move forward and grow slowly but surely even if there is nothing.