Those Lost Feelings

Well I got through finals quite well. So now I promised one of my readers a post and here it is, hope it serves as some good reading. Looking back on the semester it was kind of strange for my love life. As usual nothing really happened in my life. Of course the highlight was renewing my vow as the ninja of Long Beach. The life of a ninja is a tough one, we have to scorn the light and render our services in the shadows. Other than that it seems hard to believe that it's been a year since I really felt strong feelings of love. I don't regret those feelings, I suppose I'll be able to look back on those posts and know of a time where I truly felt something wonderful for a girl. I know its been a strange few weeks in some of my writings when my blog isn't plagued by anime ideas or my frequent references to my characters (believe me its hard for me not to make another Valaro and Alicia reference in this post, oops already did) in my posts. So if you haven't noticed theres still no "new inspiration" for girl posts. Maybe its on my behalf where I don't want to be hurt with rejection or my passivity affects my actions.

Yet when I reread those posts its hard for me to believe that one girl could have such an impact on my life and how my feelings seemed to flow out so naturally. It was like fighting an ninja equal or even superior to my abilities. Someone who challenged me to grow and become stronger and to also show what my heart is capable of when I failed. I'd like to thank my readers (as well as two faithful readers) for the comments and support in those posts. You guys truly saw the honesty and love that I put into those posts. I suppose you guys must wonder if I would ever show her those posts or if I would allow someone to show her one. The answer is yes. Sure it sounds a little weird, but I think that if we keep things hidden then we lose those feelings we had. Thats why I like to look back at those posts and can't help feeling more empowered in my journey as a ninja. It kind of reminds me of a scene from an anime I watched. Bascially theres a couple who haven't seen each other for years and the girl hands the guy she loves a book and in that book she drew hearts on all the pages and it represented how much she loved him. I wouldn't be ashamed to show her one of my posts, because in some ways its like one of my feelings finding its way to her and I think she would enjoy it too.

I know I may not have felt the feelings I had last year in writing some of my posts. But at the same time I found new ones this year. I know what to look for in myself and in a girl. I hope that one day that those lost feelings will reach another girl.