Nerdiness and Post 200

Well time for another post. This time its not about women (honestly I think I write too much about them) but regardless I know one reader still somewhat enjoys the posts not about women or my crazy anime ideas. But lets get started shall we? I suppose one of the things that sets me apart from most people is a few things. I study a lot, watch unhealthy amounts of anime and have a bunch of anime related stuff and play video games. These things are basically pretty nerdy in terms of what most people would consider normal. Then again we all have our different opinions on what constitutes nerdy. Some have comic books, I have my anime, being absorbed in internet memes and being into video games the casual gamer hasn't heard of (Blazblue anyone?). Being into anime and video games is a part of me. I guess you can say that this post comes again from a talk I had with my roommate. He told me I won't get girls with anime or that I dress kind of shabby (I like the way I dress, its comfortable to me and at least I'm not running around naked).

I think thats the problem with the world. America being the pompous privileged kid in the world, it's citizens somewhat look down upon the strange and the eccentric. We live in a country where you can be a atheist or neo-nazi and society says you can be that just don't cause trouble. But for people to think nerdy people like me are shouldn't exist. I've heard many things like "don't conform, be unique" (I see it every time at my dentist's office everytime I get my teeth cleaned). For instance, I know I don't dress very fashionably sometimes. I have anime shirts and shirts that my mom buys me from department stores. So it seems like I dress pretty shabby. It was also something that my roommate asked me, he basically said I dress too simple. I replied I like the way I dress, its comfortable and he still stood by his argument. Well it was a short argument but basically he said "sometimes you gotta blend in". That was the problem blending into society. I wanted to give the earlier example of why do that when we have neo-nazis in the U.S. but there was no time for that. There was another person who I admired the first ninja of Long Beach. He basically lived off free stuff, food on campus and free t-shirt opportunities. So he wore the shirts he got from campus every so often, I respect that he didn't wear the shirts because they looked good or not it was a shirt and probably a comfortable one. So sure I don't dress like a model, I want people to know that I wear whats comfortable and what anime I enjoy watching.

Now as for anime and gaming. Yes I admit sometimes it can get unhealthy but I balance it all out. Sure I might not get girls with anime and when they ask me what I do in my free time they laugh and say "okay". But then again I do talk to some girls that watch anime (they're the coolest people in the world even though some of the stuff they watch is mainstream or I haven't seen it). As for gaming I play a lot of Super Smash Bros. Brawl with my roommates and I am always shouting "how does that get priority" or "projectile spam". I'm sure only one of them understand what I'm saying but it just shows how much gaming I've done. I think my nerdiness is a pretty interesting aspect of me. It makes me unique in a world of people who are cut from the same cookie cutter. I'm much like the cookie that doesn't end up in a circle. I like who I am, thats what we should all strive to do. I'm not saying the cliche "I LOVE MYSELF", I'm just saying we should strive to change the things that can be changed about ourselves, but at the same time don't change the things that define you. I suppose you can apply this same logic to the atheists and neo-nazis mentioned above but hey thats a product of a free thought society. So be nerdy or whatever and don't let what people say change you. If you do that then who would you be?

Also 200th post YAY!! Blows novelty party blower and throws confetti. Thank you to my loyal readers and heres to future good posts on women, life and anime ideas and characters.

That's a Weird Question

Well it was a productive week, got a group presentation done. So I decided to post something two readers might like I suppose. This actually happened last week, but I decided to think about it for a while and such. Surprisingly I've been taking things quite well in terms of my romantic life. At times its liberating and other times it makes me feel lonely. I don't necessarily regret the things I've done, since to regret is like saying you want a time machine or you want to load that last good save point. Anyways its storytime now I suppose. Last Wednesday I was leaving my apartment to head out to AACF. Since the shuttles are gone I decided to have a nice trip on the bus. As I stepped out the entrance way to the street with my favorite song playing on my ipod, I saw two of my friends driving by. They were headed the same direction as me so I took them up on the ride offer. We picked up some other people and got onto campus. We were all headed to the room we meet, I was having small talk with my friend when she asked me "So Jeff, any girls in your life." If this were an anime this is the point where I fall face first into the floor or I spray the drink I was drinking out of my mouth. I'm pretty sure to one of my readers this story probably sounds quite familiar since you were there though I don't think you were evesdropping on our conversation but I think you can understand why I felt this way and even who I was talking to.

I didn't know how to answer, so much was going on in my heart and in my mind. In the end I gave her the most simpliest answer I could think of at the time "I'm too old". It made her laugh and she told me I was still full of life and in my heart it made me glad I could make her smile. It was a strange question coming from her, I always hoped that I'd get that question from the girl I liked and I would tell her about her. I'd describe who she was to me and if she wanted to know who it was it would segway for me to tell her that it really is her. Wow that sentence was full of "shes" and "hers". In fact thats how I would have ideally had it. At that moment I just didn't know what to tell her, I know my readers know of the eloquent and sweet things I've wrote about her, but the question was for myself how could I tell her all of these things? It was the one question that I waited for all my life, but circumstances and such kind of prevented all that. There are times I wonder if I even did have a chance, although the more I thought into that potential relationship that experience with me might have made her into a nun.

I know I shouldn't be talking this way about myself, but I think she deserves a better experience with the guy she's with now. From what I hear she is and I'm glad for that. I've gotten a lot of advice from different people some from my dai ge and the other from my roommate. I suppose I enjoy talking with my dai ge more since his advice has God in the picture while my roommate's adivce is very biased and world oriented. My roommate's advice came up last week too, he told me about how I told him that I was happy being single and maybe even for the rest of my life. He gave me the whole pond and ocean metaphor, but I wasn't satisfied with it you may be honest, but where is God in the picture. My dai ge just got into a relationship and we had a heart to heart talk a while back. His story about his struggles and trials seemed more relatable since he put God first before himself. The one thing that he told me was that when you do find that person you experience more than you can ever bargin for. There are times that are difficult for him, he realizes that its not about having fun or about yourself, it should be a relationship that grows both people for themselves and God.

A relationship is both a blessing and a challenge, I realize that its not something that I want to rush into carelessly I want to take my time. Yet the world says don't take your time since you just might end up like I said in my answer "too old". I know I've got a lot of fight left in me, I'm the ninja of Long Beach after all. Maybe this incident was fate's cruel way to mock me of my singleness and to make me regret all the things I've done or maybe it was from God to show me how at peace I was and how I could still be a blessing to her. Just as God works in mysterious ways so does the ninja of Long Beach. I suppose I'll finish this post with an anime scene that this whole thing reminded me of. It's from Code Geass episode 14. Its between main character Lelouch and Shirley one of those female characters who has a huge crush on the main guy character yet he does not realize it since he's too busy trying to rule the friggen world but at the same time he kind of does realize it. Lelouch goes up to Shirley, she doesn't realize who he is because he erased her memory of himself. She asks him why he happens to be in the area and he tells her that he's here to see a precious friend he lost (hint its Shirley). Lelouch tells her how he misses her smile and thier stupid fights. Shirley then asks him did he love this person and he answers he doesn't know. I kind of felt this way, I hold these memories in my heart yet I could never tell her of my feelings and she lives unaware of them. I don't regret these memories they're precious to me just as she is now. It is the destiny only the ninja of Long Beach can walk.

Why do we talk when we should listen?

I meant to post this last night, but a"special" set back and hanging out with friends delayed it until today. There are times in our lives when we hold things in and sometimes we just want to speak those things out to another. But at the same time we fear what that person will say when they hear it all. Its like in a manga I read theres a quote I really liked "We all pretend we don't know and we wipe up our tears and go on with our lives." I suppose that people fear the judgmental eye of the person that we talk to about problems. More or less I had another talk with the same roomate I sometimes talk to. Its been a while since I last spoke to him, it wasn't about women this time. More or less talking with him I noticed a few things. One was bias and the other was the absence of God. I really don't want to go into details about the discussion because like I always mention it is to protect the guilty (an oxymoron I know). It was like I spoke and he judged, its the complete opposite reason I wanted to talk to him. He knows a little about what I went through from high school, he brushed that off. That is where the bias comes in, no one can brush off something like that. I felt worthless, a faceless shadow in a injust world those who wronged me had everything I longed for and didn't deserve it. And in some way he told me to forget about it. More or less I felt as if I was being judged rather than recieving comfort.

Which brings up my next point he told me that he's always brutally honest with people he talks to about problems. I sometimes wonder why people go to others to talk about problems. From this experience I see now that the people who want to talk about thier problems are looking for a social masturbation, a quick feel good fix to the big problems in thier hearts. In some ways I was glad about that, but then comes the absence of God that I've been noticing. As Christians we are to live not of this world, yet I wonder where he is with God. He practically lives the typical college life partying and drinking, that I worry he does not see the entire picture at times. This is not a judgment reversal, it is my curiosity. This guy is my brother, yet I know very little about his spiritual life. One of the things I don't regret in my years here is going to guys small group instead of anime club. I think if it weren't for the leaders and the members I wouldn't be able to be open to sharing at times. Regardless his brutal honesty was fixed within the confines of what society says about ourselves. That we should live our lives to the fullest and then go out with a bang so that people will remember you.

Wow I really went off topic right there but back to canon material. I suppose that from this experience I'm not satisfied with what we talked about. To me it was biased shallow advice. But I think thats the problem when two people talk, its not about listening and then getting an answer its about listening and then understanding. Things like "I know what you're going through" or some kind of make shift solution aren't going to cut it for people. The truth is when two people talk we don't know what to expect from the other. That is why we should listen and understand rather than talk to reach a truth. It's like when my grandpa passed away, I took a walk with my Dai-ge around the apartments. He told me that when these things happen we should let people talk and the other person to listen and say nothing more so that the other person might understand the feelings in the other's heart. I think that this is a better way to reach the solution in our hearts, we should approach the truth for ourselves rather than having someone else spout an answer for us. It might be slow and painful but we reach a truth that will satisfy what we seek. Its like my what my other Dai-ge told me when we fail and fall, we don't fall backwards we fall forwards. We pick ourselves up, we shouldn't talk to another person to get an answer from them to do it for us. Thus we should always be open if we want to talk, when we listen we should be silent and help that person reach an answer for themselves. Sure it might not seem supportive, but the listener can pray that the other person may find peace or understanding in whatever they need. I think thats just what anyone would want to recieve an answer by themselves simply by being open while another is there to support from a distance and allow them to speak what lies heavy in thier hearts.

After Dark Stories

For once a pitch post that is not properly titled. That only happened once before with the Zeta Corp idea. Now I present the pitch III OVA ideas entitled the After Dark Stories. These are the stories that fill in the gap between the movie idea Savior's Sacrifice and leading up to the sequel series Crimson Dawn. So we will see what characters were doing in the aftermath of the first series. Chronologically this particular story will be near the end of the series of stories. Which goes into my next part, this idea is dedicated to my older brother Marcus Wong currently at pharmacy school up north. He's the Vergil to my Dante and Edward to my Alphonse. Continue to do your best in all the things you do and may you have just as awesome of an adventure as your anime alter ego in this story. So without further adue.

Despite the world being at peace in the year 2024, a peace won for both the mortal and demonic realms by the Chaos Emperor Ryo Huang it seems that to have peace one must prepare for war. Marc Huang, the sole master of the Blitz style fighting and a member of Ryo's royal guard, is just beginning his studies at Northstate Pharmacy School and adjusting to his new surroundings and rigors of school. Of all the beings in the world he is the only young man who knows the current whereabouts of his brother Ryo who is currently studying at Silent Falls University with fellow S hunter Sheena Ismail. Just as Marc's first week of classes and reading have ended he is approached by a representitive of the Sion Corporation who comes bearing a AA-ranked operation. The job to dispose of a man made Uberos demon that has been in Cryo sleep since World War II. It was a product of American research into the occult just as the Germans did and from it the production of U-171. The demon was manufactured to be an alternative to the atomic bomb, but president Roosevelt felt that such a weapon was inhuman and the project was scrapped and the U-171 weapon to be disposed of. But unbeknown to all the being continued to sleep and is now after the largest source of spiritual power in the western realm: Ryo.

Thus the Sion Corporation sought after the only mortal who had the strength to defeat a Uberos class demon with his bare hands as well as an opportunity to earn a big pay check. It will take all of Marc's knowledge of every fighting style and his mastery of the Blitz style to protect his younger brother and to ensure that he graduates. Will Marc have the strength once again to ward off another demon of cataclysmic power? An unstoppable dark force will now face off against one of the western realm's strongest fighters and that force will stop at nothing to protect what he holds dear in his heart: family.

From the Demon Savior universe comes a young man's noble fight to protect his brother.

The After Dark Stories: Blitzkrieg

The first in the few stories I had in my mind for the After Dark Stories. Next time for the After Dark Stories, Rin Cron.

From what ended to what begins

Double post day today, but that will all become apparent in the next few minutes/hour. I guess you can say that this post will satisfy a few of my fans to some extent. So sit down and get a glass of water to drink since its so hot right now. One of the things that ninjas can't do is fall in love. I guess I can see why, at times it makes you feel things that perhaps you don't understand or cause you to think irrationally. I suppose I did feel a few of some of these things. However at the same time I wish they didn't end somewhat abruptly. I suppose now I can write a proper timeline of my so called encounters with attractions.

When I was younger I suppose it was a more physical thing, when you're a kid people are stupid sometimes. Its like that scene in Bambi where Bambi, Thumper and Flower all fall in love during spring. Overall shallow stuff. I suppose I had it somewhat easy with the girl I liked when I was a kid since I made her the only one since like 6th grade. I think that was the stupid thing on my behalf. I was only kidding myself whenever I asked myself what I liked about her personally since in actuality I was somewhat lying to myself. Eventually I forgot about her since it was all stupid in the end and even now thinking about it now I want that part of my life back.

College, I suppose now I know what I somewhat want in a girl. I suppose its thanks to her that I know now what I should have known then. Its kind of sad now I can't feel what I felt for her last year. I'm kind of sad yet I don't know what I should be feeling now. It's like an anime I'm watching now where the guy gets rejected by the girl he likes yet every time he sees her he can't help but feel love for her. I don't want it to sound like I'm obsessed or not its just that it's really weird that theres no girl who could top what I felt for her.

I'll still protect her and I respect her as my sister in Christ and I'm glad that we can be both friends and her older brother spiritually. The world says I should be regretting it all, but I don't. This ninja will face what now begins and will hold those memories dear to his heart. Like I said before I'm glad we were able to meet and that this shadow didn't simply walk pass her. I will show love and bless others just as she showed me and now the ninja boldly walks towards what begins now. Bang, take that world.