Things You Can't Forget

I suppose another deep post, might do that look into a pitch III if I ever get around to it. This post might be the last for the next two weeks since I'll be kicking it Asian style in the south with my grandparents and uncle. So hopefully I'll have interesting stories to tell everyone. Sorry about the lack of posts, I've been working these past two/three weeks so its been pretty busy and productive on my end. But that is a tale for another time.

I suppose its been more than five years since my high school days. If you ever asked what time of your life would you have wanted back, whether if it was a big waste of time or if you could do it differently, I would have to say it was those days. Its been a couple of years since those days and I could say that even though I would have wanted those years back I know I can't have them. I was really a different person back then, I was somewhat of an anti-hero back then. Well I guess I still am now, since I am the ninja of Long Beach. People didn't really care for me and that made me care less about other people. It eventually got so bad that I just plain hated people outright, I could meet someone new and immediately find the things I hated about them. If you said hi to me I knew it was out of obligation rather than being friendly (or both).

I guess you can say that these painful memories are hard to forget, its like having another half of me. It's kind of like in Gundam 00 (sorry for the anime reference I just find this example appropriate) I'm kind of like Allelujah Haptism (he's my favorite Gundam Meister) who has another violent personality who appears before him and talks with him. As much as Allelujah wants to change the world the other personality constantly reminds him of his existence to only fight and become nothing more than a soldier. I feel the same way, the other half of me reminds me of only the worst of people and as much as I say that I have changed that half reminds me that he is a part of me that will never leave. I guess its true that that part of me will never leave, but I just have to accept him for it because (History education catching up with me) I study what happened back then and realize that all I wanted was someone to accept me, someone to tell me that it was all right to be who I was despite everyone being a jerk to me, someone to say that they loved me. Once again my arrival to Long Beach gave me all of that.

With that said love is another thing nobody can forget. To make such an impact on another life or even another life having an impact on yourself is tough to forget. Well then again theres divorce if you get married, but thats another topic all together. Those seem to be the most facinating memories of all. Yes they could be replaced with people, but each one is unique. I can't tell you how much those feelings can make an impact on someone. I just hope I can make a girl feel the same way, to do something for her that she won't forget about what I did for her. Dang I just lost my train of thought for this section, so we can try to drown out bad memories or regrets, but when it comes down to it all we have to accept those feelings and memories because thats all they want. If we do that we can make life a bit more bearable.