What can I say

Been a while since I made some kind of thought provoking post. I'm not sure about posts about women anymore since I've kinda lost my inspiration for those posts, but again I'm at peace with that. But I guess I'll write on that. I know many of you enjoy those particular posts, however I don't see a point for them any more. It's pretty much going about beating a dead horse by saying I'm glad she's found someone special and that I still care for her. I guess you can say its a kind of what to expect from me from now on when it comes to these posts. I can say for one thing, these posts are going to be a lot more rarer from now on. Its a sad truth but thats just the way things are going to be. I don't even know where I'll explore from these kinds of posts.

I suppose looking back on all these posts on women, I've kind of explored the person that I am as well as the kind of girl I would want to have. I've heard many things from people some of it regarding what to do now. Pretty much people say move on (forgive me but its pretty much true) dammit. Yeah I never told her how I felt, I have my regrets and I choose to live with it. I'm still good friends with her. I suppose thats what matters most to me. With the first girl I liked in my journeys here in Long Beach I barely see and talk to her. I feel kind of bad that I don't get the chance to ever sit down and talk with her. There were just too many things that just didn't click into the right places between us. However with this girl, she does want to talk to me just as friends. Thats what I admire about her despite my failure to tell her how I feel, I can still have that close relationship with her as a friend. I can be her ninja watching from the darkness and yet step into the light to speak to her.

I really am glad that God has blessed me with the opportunity to meet a wonderful girl like her. I really am glad for her boyfriend, he's one lucky guy. I pray and hope for thier happiness and that their relationship is one that will truly glorify God. A simple little story about something that happened between me and her this week. We were walking to class and I was walking a few steps behind her and she stops and says "Come on Jeff, don't walk behind me; walk beside me." If you notice anything about the way I walk with a group of people, I always walk in the back behind everyone, to make sure no one is left behind or to watch the road ahead. It's kind of like me watching from the shadows, I enjoy my place there but even though she never knew how I felt for her she still bids me to walk alongside her. I don't know where I'll go from here, but all I can say is I wouldn't have it any other way.