The ninja vs the World

Well here's another thought provoker for all my readers. I know I might be crossing into familiar territory since I think I might have posted something like this in some girl post. I guess you can say that this post is inspired by some recent events that I ran into. As most of you know I watch unhealthy amounts of anime and collect various anime related merchandise. If you've ever visited my room in the apartments or if you're really lucky actually gone into my home room you'll find that I am borderline obsessed. I suppose I ran into this on my recent visit in my apartment. On this rare visit I was going to stay over for the night for a trip to Disneyland with friends (thank you free visit offer and to those who made it out and helped those who came it was a awesome 12 hours). I suppose two of my roomates actually paid a rare visit to my roomate and my room. Now if you've seen my room at the apartment its painfully obvious that I like anime. And upon my roomates and my roomate's girlfriend (yes to my surprise she is real and not just a cardboard cut out that lives in a closet) visit they began to critique some of the posters (for some reason) and one (names will not be posted to protect the identity of the guilty, but then again I doubt they read this they really should it would give them insight into how I think) said and I quote "these won't get you girls". Then further critiques by an actual girl (my roomate's girlfriend) and you can see how all of this actually went down.

I find thier critique rather odd, you can say on one side I was sort of upset I am proud of my posters and what series they represent and on the other side I really didn't care. It really made me scratch my head as to why they thought all the things in my side of the room were weird. In all honesty and I don't mean this in any mean or accusing way whatsoever so if said roomates actually do read this (which I doubt, but then again its linked to my facebook) and to my other readers don't speak of this in public, I think in our apartment the room I stay in is the most human. I mean I take pride in my fascination in anime just as my roomate takes facination in marine biology. I mean I'm not a mindless robot.

Which brings me to the argument, no the accusation I have against the world. A world of contradictions where the world says that being yourself is the way, yet people will reflect themselves and be shot down by the world. Even clothes are this way. We buy a particular shirt thinking it looks good or the style reflects our personality, yet we find that other people wear the same shirt as well. Its a trap of society and modernity, when we buy things we think that it will represent us yet they do not. Consider this: think about the last shirt or piece of clothing you bought from a clothing store, did you have a hand in creating it? Did anyone from the company actually come up to you and asked you what you wanted the design? If you answered no to any of these questions I have this to say, you are not an individual by wearing that piece of clothing. We think we have control over what makes us different yet we don't. We can't walk into a Mc Donalds and order nachoes, since people do not create the menu a faceless monster called the world does. What I'm getting at is that society is controlling us without us knowing. We want to express ourselves yet we are bound by the rules and offers of society and our peers.

I make this bold accusation not only against the world, but the said roommates and young woman. Remember, I am the beast and (as one of my friends puts it) the defender in the night and I challenge thier beliefs shaped by the world. You may say that what I enjoy and feel are strange, yet in the end I shall live a fufilled and enjoyable life. I am who I am, I will not be shaped by you or the world. Ninjas live a life by thier own terms, follow thier own path and will touch the lives of many; fools who live by what society tells them will fade into nothing and are forgotten by the world. I will not be told how to live my life, I've come to terms with myself and with my relationship with women that is a state that the three of you will probably never attain. You may say that I'm wrong but you and the world will stretch your arms out into the darkness with blind folds on shouting "who am I?" and I'll come up to you and whisper "No one".

I'd like to end with a scene from Gundam 00, where one pilot desparately fights to change the world despite being blind to its own contradictions and being content with the way society is. He longingly reaches out to the Earth and asks "You people are you satisfied with this world?" and then his hand forms a gun pointed towards the Earth and he replies "I'm not...". Just like that character I ask my readers this "are you satisfied with the way the world is?" Don't be, we can change so much and I know by writing this and you reading this we may be able to change it in some small way. Do not be consumed by what the world tells you or how to live, because then you'll end up like those who I accused. Thus the ninja of Long Beach will continue to live and enjoy the things that he enjoys without fear of what the world thinks.

A Pitch XIII

We'll also as promised another pitch idea from the crazy alchemic cauldron called my brain. This idea was kinda tough to come up with, in some ways it sounds kind of familiar with whats out there already, but I've tried my best to make it something truly unique. Under a few months of planning and perfecting I've come up with something at the very least. This time the idea reflects another period of my life, so you could almost say that it could be based off true events (well almost). So without further adue.

The wind, it is an invisible force that passes in our lives unseen. It watches and provides us with comfort. Telepathy, a unique ability to move objects with one's mind. One can bend and break objects simply by thier sheer will. The year 2022, Jesren Rike a young psychic and 3rd year university student has lived a rather simple life despite his rather unique abilities. A young man who on the outside lives a seemingly unremarkable life is about to change. A covert war has been waged against those with psychic abilities. Government Psy-ops sectors have been hunting psychics for many years now, now Jesren stands as the last in America (or as those familiar with the Demon Savior series, the western lands). He has been chased and hated for his abilities for 4 years of his life, but recently he has met a young woman named Catherine Keiron a girl who despite the pains of her own heart has captured the heart of the young psychic.

The two befriend each other and Jesren falls in love with her. Yet he hasn't had the courage to tell her how he feels. As time goes by the young woman has just begun to date another young man. At the same time a team of psy-op "Cleansers" has caught up with Jesren as well. However their target is not him, rather it is Catherine. She herself is not a psychic, but rather a catalyst for the evolution of psychics. Simply being near her can awaken latent abilities or evolve the abilities of those with psychic powers. It has already had an effect on Jesren, while at first his abilities were limited to reading people's feelings in the wind, now he can sharpen and move it. Now, knowing that he may never be with the girl who captured his heart he now devotes his life to protecting her. Catherine unaware of the young man's valiant efforts continues to lead a peaceful and full life with a watchful guardian in the wind. A tale of unrequited love, duty and unrelenting courage.

The unseen force that watches over all...

Psy:wind

There you have it my 13th idea. I might write a look into this idea so that it makes a little more sense, but this idea also ties into the Demon Savior universe since Jesren is a friend of Ryo Huang. A pitch XIV might take a while, but hopefully it won't be long.

Love, Life and a Year

Well another year comes to a close, papers have been written and laid to rest once again. A promise is a promise, here's the special post that I had in mind. If you recall under the piles of rants, anime ideas, looks into said anime ideas, my life reflecting anime and all that crazy stuff recall a post I made on Thursday May 22nd, 2008. On friday it'll be a year since I made that post. If you haven't read it or forgot what it was about then do that since it'll make this post make a lot more sense. Or if you're really that awesome (like me sometimes) then you probably already know where this is headed.

Or maybe I'll save you the trouble of reading if you're that lazy. It's been one year since I met and felt attracted to my precious person who I now consider a dear friend. Yes its been one year since this crazy, silent ninja fell for this young woman. She was only a first year then, but over the course of this year I've found out so much about her. I don't really want to count the various posts about her or about women I made because of my feelings for her (if you count and post it in the comments then you are now crazier than I am =P). However, at the same time it was a time where I found out a lot about myself. I suppose that this year has become another journey that either will continue or end for the ninja of Long Beach. My feelings for her, it really showed me so much about what I would want for a relationship. I had my hopes and dreams, but at the same time I wondered if I could do the things that I hoped for. But as some of you have read it couldn't happen for various reasons.

Thus the ninja faced a strange opponent that he thought he knew: jealousy. It was a strange feeling that I thought I knew, but to face it was certainly strange in itself. In the end I overcame it, and through it I found an answer to how to face it. Its a feeling that shows us that we truly care for a person, yet it is also a dangerous feeling as well. Its a feeling that we face when we want to be happy, yet when that happiness is taken away we become angry and clench our hands to forcefully regain that happiness. But it goes against feelings that we once felt for that person and instead we should open our hands and push them towards their happiness instead. It was an answer that I came to, but it was an answer that I couldn't have reached if it had not been without her.

Another thing happened as well that showed me what a beautiful and strong person was spiritually. I was in charge of skit planning this past retreat for aacf. It was a busy time for me as well as my team. She had various things to do both at her church and for family, yet she gave those things up to help out. When we had a fire side sharing, she told everyone of the sacrifices that she made to be there and to stay (she had to go to a funeral during the weekend, yet she decided to stay). She told about the various passings people in her life either friends or her family and how it reminded her of what happened to her a year ago. It broke my heart, I remembered all the facebook messages she sent me saying how she wouldn't be able to make the meetings for skit planning or not being able to stay the weekend of retreat, but in the end she stayed. I remember the scene perfectly, I was standing at the edge of the group and how I heard the pain in her voice as she shared, I just stood there biting my lip trying to hold the tears back for her in the darkness of the night. When she finished people went up to pray for her, I remained in the shadows I wanted to go up but I was too late. But later I went out on my own and I prayed for her and cried. Even though she now has a young man who cares for her I was happy for her. This love I have for her wasn't about getting into a relationship with her, but to care for her. People may call this unrequited love and it should be abandoned since it would only hurt me and make me seem like a strange stalker, but you guys know thats not me. Its another thing that this young woman has shown the ninja of Long Beach.

Before I end this post I want to do something. Some spoiler warning if you're a fan of Gundam 00. So watch all of season 1 first before watching or read on if you don't care. In the end of season 1 of Gundam 00, main pilot Setsuna writes a letter to Marina a young woman who he feels attached to. Amidst the fighting and chaos Setsuna wanted to find an answer to his existence and to why people live in a world conquered by fighting. I feel that I have gone through the same thing as Setsuna so here's my letter to my dear friend.

I don't know if you'll ever read this, its been almost a year since I met you. At first you seemed like every other freshman girl entering college. But in this year of talking and working with you I've learned so much about you and even myself. You've taught me so many things, things that I wouldn't have ever came to myself had I not fallen in love with you. However I still do have questions that may never be answered. Like: would we have been able to walk by each other? Why am I so at peace and glad for you for getting into a relationship? Why does the world believe that I'm weak for not taking action? Why did this young man keep his feelings secret and yet he feels no regret for never sharing them with you? I may never find those answers, but to the questions that you have answered I thank you. I will hold my memories of my feelings for you deep in my heart and I will continue my journey to find those unanswered questions.

People often say that you're better off telling a person you love them, because you'll regret it later. I have my regrets, but I don't regret not telling her. If I had a chance to redo this year, I wouldn't change a thing and I would have fallen for her still. She's shown me so much and I think if I changed any of it I wouldn't have ended up where I am today. Thus her silent guardian marches forward, watching over her, praying for her and continuing to grow and find the answers to his questions.

Joining among the ranks

Another post, in all actuality I wasn't going to post something this week but since I got bored and I'm once again happy with where I am with my take home finals I decided to post something. I'm kinda mixed about what to post exactly tonight. But I'll play it by ear and see where it ends up taking me. Once again I find myself at a stand still with women so girl posts are going to be kind of rare again (but who knows) but I'd like to say that I'm alright with where I am right now. One of the main things that I find strange in this world is why good people are still single. I know I wrote about it before but I guess you can say I'm joining in with that group of people. Mr. A and the ninja of Long Beach before me who is currently lending his services in another country, two men who I admire for thier faith as men of God and who have taught me so much in my journeys here in Long Beach. Mr. A is a person who I can relate to in terms of relationships and struggles in this cruel thing called life. Despite everything thats happened to him he can still smile and worship God and even be a blessing to his fellow sisters. As for the first ninja of Long Beach, he taught me to take advantage of free stuff and how to be Chinese cheap. Not only that but he was a person who I could relate to in terms of gaming and anime, while he too never got into a relationship he was a person who wouldn't give up what he enjoyed to be the good man he was.

I feel that I'll be the third, perhaps someone will write about me and give me an alias so that no one will ever find out who I was but I'm not sure if that will ever happen. Which brings me to the next point, I know my time here will be limited and I want to find another young candidate to give the title of ninja of Long Beach. A person who won't give into the world despite what it says against them, someone who despite the pains in thier heart can still smile and be a blessing to those around them, to continue the legacy of the unsung protector of Long Beach. Even though the first ninja of Long Beach never acknowleged himself as the first nor did he give me the title officially, I give him the right to declare himself as the first and I his successor. Maybe the title will die, but I hope that it won't and it'll be a title that will float down the various generations of aacf in some way. I have a candidate in mind so far, he's a guy that I met and lived with this past year. He's definitely a guy who won't give up when he sets his mind to something and he reminds me of Naruto. It's just like in Naruto, passing the torch to the next generation and have them take over. I know when I leave there will be good people to watch over the community I love so.

Well finals are next week and I'll be done on Wednesday. Join me next time for a very special post that I know two or three readers may enjoy. So that will be up for your enjoyment on Wednesday night. Then on Friday A Pitch XIII will be posted for those of you who enjoy those posts. This idea is another unique one since it will be another idea based on an experience in my life, where Demon Savior reflected my high school days this will reflect another period of my life. So interesting reads await in the next few days. Watch for them.

What do we give up?

Well end of the semester is coming up fast. I meant to post this a while ago, but with the turn of events that occured in my life it just got lost in translation. I suppose you can categorize this as either a thought provoker or a girl post, like I said earlier girl posts are going to be rarer now. But I degress. Anyways back when I spoke with my room mate, we also got down to the topic of sacrificing time and personal things to spend with a so called significant other. To me this was kind of mind boggling, first off I can make time to be with a girl (especially back then when my friend told me she watched some anime) but the second part changing my personality to be with a girl. Anime I can do, but not personality. If a girl said she liked me, but she didn't like my obession with anime lets just say that the next time she gets kidnapped by a witch and forced to make happy meal toys, the ninja won't save her.

Thats the thing, the world constantly wants us to change in order to survive in the world. Whether it means giving up being nice because everyone is a jerk to you or adjusting habits simply to be with a girl. Conformity becomes a huge issue in our world. In a place where we say its "survival of the fittest" and that being nice just doesn't cut it anymore. The thing we don't realize is that human beings aren't animals, we're a special case where we have the capacity for great good or evil. So to give up being who you are is simply heart breaking, we shouldn't give in to what the world says because the world is shallow. We reward the aggressive with jobs, fame and women, yet the meek recieve nothing. Its not right, therefore nice people should continue to be nice because even though mean people don't appreciate it other nice people will see it as a blessing because other nice people will continue to be nice. I ran into something like this before, high school was a place I hated. I was a nice guy locked into a place of evil and heartlessness. Simply put it was the "horror" the Kurtz saw in Heart of Darkness. I gave up being nice there, I had the mentality that I wasn't locked in there with them they were locked in with me. Thats how I saw the world, everyone was out to get me, so I turned the tables and now I'm out to get them. But as some of my readers know that all changed when I got to Long Beach. In part this blog was started to get those who wronged me, their crimes go unnoticed by the world but not here.

In terms of relationships, I go under the interpretation that we get into relationships because we accept the good and bad of one another. Sure in most cases opposites attract, but to me that leads to atomic explosion followed by a mushroom cloud that smells of farts. Is it necessary to bend backwards in terms of personality to be in a relationship? Does that mean I'd have to give up my obession with anime, gain more confidence in terms of doing things or asserting myself. In all honesty that is a bunch of crap, if I ever found a girl I'd want her to accept me for who I am. Like a car you get what you see, I don't want her to put things on me or change who I am inside. And I'd do the same to her. She is who she is and no matter how flawed she may be I wouldn't want her to change for me. If she wants to improve herself, we'll do it together we'll heal each other's wounds and wipe each others tears away. We shouldn't give up who we are simply for something shallow to please each other. We should change willingly not just because someone said so.

Like I said before, my precious person I really did feel that she wouldn't want me to change anything about myself to please her. When I'm next to her I felt I could be myself, an eccentric anime nerd and it didn't matter to her. Like when I gave her that anime button I gave it to her because I knew she would appreciate the fact that I thought about her in a way that we could somehow relate to each other. She doesn't have it pinned on her backpack anymore, I don't know what happened to it but I know she still was happy that I thought about her. In terms of how this applies to this idea of sacrificing who we are to please the world I still wear the same button I gave her (remember I bought one for myself too). Even though she doesn't wear her's I still wear mine because of the fond memories I had of her and how simply knowing her was such a blessing to me. Sure I have all the right to take it off, she doesn't have hers on, a constant reminder of how I failed on my side yadda yadda yadda. But to that I say no, anime is a part of me and so are my thoughts. I've moved on, but I'm not giving up what makes me, me.