My heart, your heart

Well heres that other interesting post thats been cooking up in my mind. these past few weeks I've really thought about those crazy feelings I've been having about this sudden other. In all honesty I really do think that this all happened unexpectedly and may be a product of my lonliness or something crazy. Anyways back to the heart of the matter. When I laid in bed when I was in Mississippi, I thought about these feelings. I prayed about it and asked God that if these feelings that I have are really true then I wanted to see more of her heart. At the moment it seemed like a perfectly reasonable answer, but lately I kind of think its selfish of me. I want to see more of her heart, but would I be willing to show her mine? It seems to be the important part of any healthy relationship, two people have to be willing to show their true selves to each other. For me this kind of manifested in that one moment I was with her. I guess you can say that I showed myself a little bit, but I really haven't seen very much of her's. I know of one occasion that she turned down one opportunity (which I won't say because it might give away who she is) because she felt that it wasn't in God's plan for her. I had overheard this one morning as she spoke to one of my roommate's friends. I'm pretty sure that guy was like WTF!? but I understood. I really think that she could have had a shot in that one event, but it just goes to show where her priorities were.

I really do hope that God will do something whether it be with her or another girl. In some of the relationships I've observed there was very little interaction between the two. Sure there was the two people together, but it was mainly being by each others side. Thats the physical part of it, but maybe I didn't see the emotional. I just wondered what exactly goes on with those two that could possibly warrant time well spent. Its like staring at each other from accross a table and not saying anything. Thats why people need to open their hearts to each other. Hopes, fears, love, worries, priorities when people reveal those to each other I think something special can bloom. I guess the reason that this doesn't occur is because people don't try to make a comitment because relationships can come and go. Why go into the mushy gushy when you know all that could fall apart in an instant? It's things like this that can change all that. Revealing weaknesses can often lead to learning about others strengths so that two people can comliment each other.

Thats my hope, to one day find that person or to learn more about this girl. Because a relationship isn't about one person, its about two people.

After Dark Stories

Well this one's another story thats been ready for quite some time. It has an interesting mix of themes. Freedom, family, technology. Well maybe I'm full of crap when I list all of those things, but these next two stories are going to be interesting ones. So without further adue.

The technology of the year 2018 have provided mankind with marvelous wonders. Of all of them the one that has been perfected and hotly debated is cloning. While at first it began with cloning to harvest organs and then later to provide decoy targets for the president and various foreign leaders. Clones themselves live in a world that questions thier existence that they themselves never asked for. Zaki Huang and the Chaos demon Adelicia are products of cloning of Ryo and Selpha. She was the only female clone of 99 male clones that were created to specifically assassinate Ryo. Zaki out performed all the clones and was chosen to kill Ryo. However Ryo defeats her and cannot bring himself to kill her and instead makes her a part of his family. 2022, A-ranked hunters begin dying. Security camera footage at five separate locations all identify the killer as none other than Ryo Huang at the same time. Zaki immediately knows that these assassins are clones from the same facility she came from. These five clones escaped from thier disposal and are now hunting her to prove thier superiority. Zaki must now confront these five clones as well as those that wish to retrieve them and her.

5 clones and a security unit that wants to capture her; Zaki must fight to continue to live a free life. Hunters become the hunted and roles continue to be reversed in this chaotic hunt.

The After Dark Stories: Chaotic Witch Hunt.

Next time in the After Dark Stories: Rhys "L.T." Viral.

Density

Well I'm back from Mississippi and it just so happens that the time spent there also had my creative mind at work in both post topics and anime ideas (two After Dark Stories already done). Anyways, this post comes from an unlikely source of inspiration. My grandma is friends with someone who owns a Chinese restaurant in the city she lives in. So she always gives my grandma a big box of fortune cookies (not a bad hook up huh). While I was munching away at thier cookie goodness one fortune caught my eye. It read and I quote "someone is interested in you. Keep your eyes open." Now I'm not one to believe a cookie, especially this one and the fact that my dad once got a fortune much like this one (at one of my cousin's dinner parties a few years back and yes he is happily married to my mom). It was a strange fortune, the odds of it being true are probably impossible. I suppose it seemed like a sign of either false hope or just the worlds way to mock me. Though it got me thinking, people always say that you shouldn't be the one looking for that someone but you need to be that good person first.

I know I have my own short comings but I do strive to be a good guy even in a world that sucks. Thats why I'm the ninja of Long Beach, the world can say what it wants about how much I suck or don't fit in but it shall not control me. I suppose I am really dense when it comes to noticing people who could be interested in me. Maybe I focus too much on myself and trying to be who I want to be that I shut myself off to how others feel. I guess its one technique that this ninja has to train himself on to find someone. No I'm not in a mid life crisis or anything, I just believe that its important to see these things in other people. Yet there has to be a limit to noticing these things. Its strange that some of my friends are girls and its difficult for me to differentiate feelings sometimes. Obviously even though I am a good guy I'm sure girls like that part of me and that its not a feeling of affection. I usually go off that because I know that it would be arrogant to believe that all the girls I'm around may have the hots for me. I guess the feeling I give off to some of my friends is one that makes them feel safe and secure. I'm a gentleman in a world of creeps sometimes, I treat them respectfully like any person would like to be. I guess its hard to be single and dense, its like an anime I watched (a really weird one) where one guy is liked by three different girls and he still doesn't realize it even by the end of the short lived series. I'm kinda like that its hard, but I see it as a way of not being arrogant. Like I said earlier if I thought all girls had the hots for me then I wouldn't be a gentleman anymore. Though it seems like from one tasty cookie that I should try to be more observant when it comes to these things and who knows maybe the cookie will be right.