The Will of both a ninja and a man...

I guess I must have scared a few readers away since I WWA (writing while angry) since no one posted a comment on my last post. Well I actually feel like writing this time about women since I found out some rather unfortunate news on my behalf. I know I wrote about this a while ago, perhaps a few months ago but my precious person is actually in a relationship now. I actually found out a day before I actually confirmed it. I guess you can say that my mindseye predicted it since somewhere in my heart I wondered if she was still single or not. To be honest I am a little sad, like I said in my last post I'm not going to get jealous since being this way is only harmful to the one I love and to myself. All I can say is that the day I found out made class a little bizarre (I spaced out here and there but I'm fine now). When I got back to the apartment I did my work and then I went into my room and prayed for her. I prayed for her happiness with this brother who I have yet to meet and thanked God for allowing me to meet such a wonderful sister. I felt the tears coming, yet I felt so at peace and happy for her and I thanked God for that peace.

I'm not going to say my good byes to this girl, I'll continue to be that blessing in her life and I'm glad that I was able to meet her. I hope to one day meet this young man and fellow brother who is taking care of my precious little sister. I'll continue to watch her from the shadows of life, although this man never told her his true feelings for her God has granted him peace knowing she'll be in good hands. I think I finally understand why I was attracted to her, it wasn't a physical attraction that caught my heart it was her sprituality that was beautiful. It was this that God showed me what it truly means to love a brother or sister. She showed me that I can say "I love you" to the people that God has blessed me with and not mean it in an empty way, but with all my heart and soul. I love the sky she is under, I love the songs of praise she sings and I hear her voice in times of trouble and worry.

As I walked back to the apartment as well, I took a look at the sky and it was so blue. I think that the love I felt for her was just like that sky I saw, so pure and deep blue that if you took a look at it you couldn't help but smile and all your worries seemed to melt away. I'll never let my memory of her leave me, for if I abandon them I'll lose the one thing that allows me to know I'm truly alive. It is the destiny only I can take as the ninja of Long Beach. A lesser man would be crushed, but I am no ordinary man. It is my will as a ninja to continue to protect her heart from the pains of the world. To anyone who challenges my will I'll fight you, just name the time and the place even if I lose I'll never change the way I think.

As a man people will call me naive, stupid, unmotivated, but to them I say this: I have found the thing only I can protect, when a man finds that he'll gain a strength in his heart and soul that no one can match. I don't want consolation or pity, I just want my readers to understand me thats all. My heart stands firm on these beliefs and I'll fight to the death if I have to to protect both her and my will as a man of Christ.

The ninja of Long Beach is at her service forever and I will say this from the bottom of my heart and soul to her:

I love you so much...