A Year Changes A Lot

Wow has it already been a year since I've began this crazy path known as college. I guess I can remember all the times I've worried about many things last year, meeting new people and dealing with my own personal issues. I used to be so bitter in my senior year of high school and so with that bitterness I kinda felt a conviction in my heart that I've been shaped too much by the world. In a way The world really did make me bitter, but it was only because I let it. However with the events last year and the people that I've met, I feel that it's safe to say that I can finally let go of the bitter past that haunted me so. I wanted to write this because just last week I opened up my 06-07 high school year book. Right when I opened it and saw the pictures of my high school days (with very little pictures of myself, honestly I buy a thing that costs the same as a text book and I get only one picture of me in the class listing), a torrent of good, but mostly bad memories came back to me. I saw all the people who betrayed and tormented me, thier smiling faces looking back at me and mocking me. In an instant all the bitterness came rushing back. What stabilized me was seeing myself with my fellow Christian Club officers.

It just amazed me, a year ago I had nothing and I looked to no one for anything since I convinced myself that I'm the last honest person on earth. To tell the truth I didn't know how I was going to handle the whole college life alone, I always thought I'd never meet anyone like myself or cared about what I thought. I thought I would live on campus for all four years and graduate and really have no good memories whatsoever.

It's interesting now though, I would have never guessed I would meet so many people in AACF and live in an apartment with other members who I can call friends (or that they would get me back into playing starcraft I hate you guys jk). I guess to those who were there (from AACF), I kinda spoke about all this when I shared my testimony during Thanksgiving. I never would have thought the things I said would have touched the lives of the AACF community, I was just plain being honest with myself and to others. Since last year I was really shy and didn't talk that much, I wanted to let people know what was going on with my mind and heart last year that held me back from opening up more. At that moment, I realized I can let go of my bitterness, even though it still comes back from time to time I know that there are people who care about me, shed tears for me and encourage me to be me. And this all happened in a year, it's so hard for me to believe at times. To be blessed like this is way beyond my comprehension sometimes.

So once again to my friends in AACF, the AACF community and my roomates (you guys rock!!) thanks for everything you've done. You guys have given me a reason to smile despite the pains in my heart and have really changed me in ways I could have never imagined.