Once Again, Because One of My Roomates Wanted Me to Post This

Once again I'd just like to say that this blog is not just all about girls. Its about me ranting about the little things that go wrong in this sad reality called our world and my anime ideas. So don't expect another one about girls in a long time. Let's see what to talk about, I'd say that one of the biggest things that I would look for when dating a girl is if she is easily pleased with simple things. Like I mentioned before in a previous post I don't think that dating should be about money, since it's guys that usually end up paying (its a sad truth that I realized, so my apologies to my female readers ;;^^). I wouldn't want to heisitate to going on dates if it was all about money, which I also talked about in a previous post since ninja work and school are two difficult things to juggle at times. Ninja work is fun, but I don't get much for it; ninja work for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about is odd jobs around the house or just plain good deeds I do in public.

It's like I said before, I think a relationship is about being together with the person you care about the most in the world. I guess some of the problems I face are that one: I have zero confidence in myself, two: I fear rejection, Three: I think too much into things and Last: I don't have enough time on my hands. My confidence is how you say sucks. I get shy easily around girls, but there are a few I know so I don't get as shy around them (you know who you are if your reading this), but I find it difficult sometimes to say stuff since I don't want to embarass myself or give them a wrong impression about me. Also I get real shy when girls get real close to me. An example of this is at AACF banquet, I'm one of three other guys in my class group that attend ACF regularly; then the rest are girls. Anyways we had our class picture and if you guessed what I'm getting to I was in the middle surrounded by the girls and the two other guys were on the ends. I wouldn't say it made me uncomfortable, but I felt really awkward, so thats one cute thing about me (so no teasing me about it).

Which gets into my next problem, I think too much into things. You ever get those times where you say something and then when you walk away you start thinking about how others may interpret it? I get that a lot, I tend to be sarcastic whether it be with my family or friends. So the things I say while crazy and what not can be looked into and may give the wrong impression to me. So if I got a girlfriend, I'd really have to choose my words carefully (it's like a sick game of scrabble or extremely difficult dating sim) so I don't offend her or do anything to hurt her. So all in all my tendancies to overthink things seriously affects my ability to show a girl who I really am.

Time is a precious thing. I try to maximize every minute of time to my work or free time. I've been told by some people that I'm too much of a student, since I can actually plot out a time schedule for everything in my head. For instance I can look at a five page paper and plot out which days to do it and how much of it I can get done each day. Usually after school work I'm pretty much tapped academically so goofing off involves anime or browsing the web. So making time for a date is pretty difficult.

Lastly rejection. Coupling the confidence problem and my overthinking I just can't confess to a girl or even take a fight. I get really shy like I mentioned earlier, I can't even bring myself to start a conversation with the girl I like. So how can I tell her I like her if there is that possibility that she doesn't like me back. The shear awkwardness of seeing each other kills me. I mean if she says she just wants to be friends and we can still talk, then I'll still be her ninja for hire (girls take note: I do ninja work for the opposite sex for free so long as the job is within reason and nothing time consuming). Also if I ever got into a argument with a girl I usually will blame myself after the argument. So that causes me more stress than the argument itself. I'd be able to handle a breakup, I've been single since the day I was born into this sad world. If God wants me to be single for the rest of my life and I can truly serve him in that way so be it.

So thats the reason why I think I can't get a girl or get one to notice me. Since I've got nothing really going for me besides school work and anime. I've been told I'd make a great husband and that I've got good qualities that make a good boyfriend. But I've got my problems, but if a girl can put up with those problems I'd make her feel loved. She would heal the wounds in my heart and I would heal her's.

So there, don't expect another one like this until I get out for summer (I can write about other things, why can't I) so give me time to think.