The Broken Heart

Here's a first in a while, I'm going to talk about something deep now. Ever have one of those times where you find it hard to forgive people or when you do forgive them you can't shake that feeling of betrayal? I have, its a terrible feeling; I suffer from the second of which. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I was betrayed, no more like abandoned by my junior high friends. They've become my enemies and me standing here oblivous to why. I've forgiven them, but that sense of their betrayal to me is tough to shake off. I would like nothing more than to see them suffer, but I know thats a bad thing to say. I became a different person sense then. I usually don't talk much or open up to many people now a days. I guess it all stems from that problem.

I've become a lone wolf, I rely on no one. I get on purely by my own strength and skill. But I am human though, one of the basic needs of man is companionship, I lack that. Its not necessary for survival, but its a good thing. In Sociology they say it builds up a social network. Whats a social network you ask? If you don't know I'm putting it simply in this senario: I need to figure out how to work bittorrent, person A knows how, I know person A, I get that help and info. Well thats it in simple terms. Yes I can admit I get lonely sometimes, but sometimes I feel that its too late for me to rebuild my relationships with people. I have scars all over my body, the ones in my heart are the ones that refuse to disappear and heal. So maintain those relationships you have and try to patch up the ones that you've broken. It's not all that fun being lonely.