The Scars of My Heart

Wow its April already, in just two more months I graduate. Many things have happened these past six years. I feel like a warrior whose sword has gained many notches and scars. Many on my heart. I can't say when this all happened really or whose fault it was, but I'm not naming any names. I've discovered many things over these past years. Life isn't fair, chivarly is dead, betrayal, bitterness; are all things that I have come to know. At times I'd like to go back in time and tell my naive 7th grade self of all these things. I was so innocent back then, but that boy is dead, he didn't even last to the first half of the 8th grade. I always thought the meek would be able to triumph over the strong and that there was kindness in everyone's heart.

That all changed when all my friends left me. I was left alone, left in an abyss of sorrow and bitterness. To stew in my wretched thoughts and to hate people. I was always the target for being picked on and I found myself alone and tried to isolate myself from the people who would pick on me. I cry out to these scars of my heart, I realize I have them and I shall shout them out. As you read my entries it seems like I'm hypocrite. I have my faults and scars of my own and I recognize them, so don't view me as a hypocrite.

As I look back on all of this, I don't regret the life I have now. People say its not good to be alone because that'll make you go crazy and make you seem weird. I see it as I'd rather be alone and a nice guy that will one day become a great young man, than have people surround me and end up becoming like the ones who torment me. Maybe one day I'll be able to read this again and have a different outlook on my life, but for now I will say good bye to these scars and perhaps even be loved once again by others.